The Law of Innovative Featherization

dalex-smith-birdman-clay

In the intense summer heat that was encapsulating all those residing in Italy in the year 1591, a young mathematics student named Baggio was strategically positioned under the shade of a well-placed olive tree about 100 metres from the Leaning Tower of Pisa. From there, he could just see his Professor of Mathematics, a man called Galileo Galilei, carefully reaching over a crumbling restraining wall at the top of the tower with both arms fully extended. In each hand, Galileo gently released two spheres of different mass in an attempt to prove one of his now famous laws.

However, on this particular attempt, one of the heavier spheres collided with an unfortunate pigeon that just happened to be flying past the tower. The result was a mass array of loosened feathers, a pigeon with a monster headache, and an angry Galileo uttering some obscenities knowing that he again needed to walk up the 284 steps and repeat the damn experiment!

Although Baggio did feel some empathy for his mathematics professor who was known to have consumed a tad too much pasta, and would have welcomed the invention of an elevator should it have existed, his gaze was fixed on the trajectory of the poor pigeon’s once owned feathers that now individually wofted with gleeful freedom in the prevailing wind gusts.

Little did Baggio know it, but this feather observation formed the basis of the now well known “Law of Innovative Featherization”, which some modern day students from the University of Pisa have colloquially named “Baggio’s Law” out of respect.

What Baggio identified was that creative ideas are like feathers. Once an idea is identified, it takes time to settle and to be slowly formulated into something practical and worthwhile. However, whilst that process is occurring, the idea floats around, just like a feather.

The key to “Baggio’s Law” is in how the creative feathers are accumulated, and then consolidated into what science now classifies as an invention. For example, not all birds that have feathers can fly. Similarly, not all ideas are useful.

In proving the “Law of Innovative Featherization”, scientists devised numerous clever experiments, some of which have been successful, unfortunately, many of which have failed, the latter being Baggio.

In 1593, after studying many a pigeon, a bare bottomed Baggio carefully applied a warm glue mixture to his body, then rolled around for about 5 minutes in a blanket of loose feathers to achieve the state of full featherization. Once the glue had set, and the feathers were firmly affixed, he, like Galileo, waddled up the 284 steps to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. There he waited for the right summer wind gust, took flight and flapped to his doom.

In 1903, the Wright brothers also tried to prove the “Law of Innovative Featherization”, however, unlike Baggio, they devised a flying machine that happily worked to the relief of Orville and Wilbur, and those fearfully watching.

With the “Law of Innovative Featherization” now proven and demonstrated, there was no stopping mankind from taking to the skies, and eventually into space, and it was all due to the insightful, yet luck-less, Baggio.

So next time you see a feather slowly dancing in the wind, take notice, stop and think of Baggio, but make sure you keep clear of any thoughts of glue application, as it will not assist your creative well-being, and just make you sticky.

The Future Outer Look

window-woman

Although located on the 536th floor, the view from my private office window is identical to those located on the lower and upper levels where I look straight into a neighbouring building situated just a few centimetres away, the only separation being a sound proof block of thick, perfectly transparent glass. Modern city building regulations stipulate that all walls of construction need to allow the unhindered transmission of light to conform with the strict environmental conditions of work as decreed by the World Office Worker Organisation (WOWO), year of issue 2056.

For those of you unfamiliar with the architectural designs for those of us fortunate enough to be working for a maximum of 2 hours a day, office layouts have definitely changed from the good old days of our grandparents.  Yes, no longer do workers have to reside in the primitive conditions associated with the open planned corporate office. Now, each employee has his, or her, very own dedicated floor space in the building that ensures complete sound solitude, together with the ability to creatively think without any unwelcome, or untimely interruption.

Most corporate office buildings, particularly those located in the CBD, are over 5,000 floors high, lined up side-by-side with military precision along the street frontage, and are constructed entirely from toughened glass blocks as per the WOWO building legislation. However, by the standards of yesteryear, these buildings are not very wide, in fact only 5 metres which matches the WOWO allocated floor width for each employee.

Through an innovative design pioneered by a charitable private Australian research establishment, these impressive tall buildings no longer require an elevator for vertical transportation. Instead, there are two hollow chimney chutes that transcend the entire height of the building located at each end of the floor. The key to this invention was to have the corporate Finance Team located in the upper floors, and the Marketing Department situated in the basement. As hot air rises, it quickly creates an upward wind gust that increases in velocity until it reaches the upper heights of the building where it interacts with the strong negative drag, and then rapidly condenses to form a downward airflow. The result is the formation of an employee transportation system that effortlessly moves people, or objects, up and down the building in a consistent clockwise rotation.

Now should you work in an earthquake location, have no fear as each tall building is linked via a simple locking block designed by Lego Constructions. This company also specialises in amazingly fast building construction techniques, and their corresponding destruction, should it be required.

Occasionally the employee of the corporate office may want to have a meeting with other coworkers not via the traditional video conference, but one involving a real person interaction. The answer is again quite simple utilising the construction techniques developed by Lego Constructions. If a larger meeting room is required, each employee floor is equipped with a block extraction tong which enables a simple person sized hole to be developed in the adjacent building. However, when using the extraction tong, it is important not to remove any blocks located in the hollow chimney chutes as this may result in a large influx of transported employees quickly filling up your allocated floor.

For those employees that have the occasional need for visual privacy from all potential onlookers within and outside the building, Lego Constructions have a simple solution. In each transparent glass building block there is a small sensor that measures the first onset of any employee blush or embarrassment. Should this sensor be triggered, a rapid temperature reduction is initiated within the block that frosts the outer surface that quickly distorts any light transition so a person’s concealment is ensured when required.

Yes, the view from my office window is quite impressive, but like all employees, I wonder what the view is like from other side of the transparent wall adjourning my building? A thought to ponder as I tirelessly works my requisite 2 hours.

The Law of Pudgification

auntmargeinflation

As the tiring flurry of those decadent end-of-year corporate parties start to loom, remember the negative and long term effects of the dreaded “Law of Pudgification”.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with the knowledge and operation of this physical law, let me take the opportunity to educate you. The Law of Pudgification states, that for every food excess consumed by the eater, regardless of how many attempts are made to lose the weight from your corporately embellished stomach, the consumer’s physical body form will never completely return back to its previous slim state. The extent of this stomach deviation is called the “Residual Pudge”.

However, after extensive university studies involving many willing, and rather naive corporate participants who frequented numerous social office eating engagements, there are some common-sense precautions that sufferers of this physiological condition can make to limit the propagation of their Residual Pudge when at the corporate party.

  1. Enlist a Friend:
    Here your friend’s role is not to engage in social dialog with your corporate colleagues, regardless of how witty and attractive their personality may be to the onlooker. No, their primary objective is to surreptitiously eat all the food given to you whilst none of your work colleagues are observing. If your friend happens to be your twin, this is an additional bonus as the eating exchange will be more readily achieved (assuming you are not standing next to each other).
  1. Announce that you have a rare and highly contagious disease:
    This public declaration entitles you to the wearing of a facemask thereby eliminating any possibility of food consumption. The words “bio-hazard” in large red font branded on the mask will also highly assist in the pursuit of this objective.
  1. Tardiness:
    The deployment of this precaution requires military timing to ensure that you arrive at the office party precisely when all the food has been consumed by your work colleagues. If you happen to arrive and notice that all the room lights have been turned off and that there is no one left in the room, then you may have left your timing a tad too late. However, should this be the case, then relax as there is no opportunity for you to succumb to food consumption and you can be content in the knowledge that your Pudge has been protected.
  1. Workaholic:
    Explain to your work team that you are far too important to leave your desk and that you have six months of work that you need to conclude for the CEO before you commence your holidays. To embellish the charade, try and tear up and state in between muffled sobs that you feel miserable by not being able to attend. On hearing this, your colleagues will typically have extreme empathy for you and will quickly prepare you a large food plate that they will personally deliver to your desk, together with a vast array of well-meaning and sincere comments of sympathy and support. This ploy works a treat as you can then take the food plate home to your growing teenage boys who will quickly accept and consume your kind and caring gesture, and perceived personal eating sacrifice.

Yes, the Law of Pudgification is a problem that is found in all corporate offices around the world, regardless of the size of the business. By adhering to these simple, yet effective Residual Pudge precautions, besides benefiting your stomach, your finances will also be improved as your bodily need to frequently purchase new, and larger, business attire (for additional girth comfort) will be alleviated. However, there are two factors that cannot be controlled in the influence of Residual Pudge, those being age and gravity. But then again, that’s life!

Problems Solved via The Dream Solution

Sleeping beauty

As we were now at 35,000 feet, the Virgin Airlines cabin crew inflight service announcement was eagerly welcomed into my ears, as I desperately needed a source of mental stimulation to solve a tricky business problem that had been troubling me for the past few hours.

I was seated in seat 3F and was soon greeted by the superbly smiling Flight Attendant named Louise who asked whether I would like coffee, tea, water or a “virtual dream enhancement”? I immediately chose the last option, and enquired as to the choices of dream selection. Louise advised that Virgin had recently expanded the range to include dreams of sporting prowess, intergalactic travel panorama, rock star status, romantic interludes, or the very popular random experience of surprise.

As I had a business problem to solve, I chose the “random experience of surprise” upon which Louise handed me a small vial of a dark blue viscous liquid that I quickly drank. About 30 seconds later, once the tingly peppermint sensation on my tongue had started to wear off, I could feel my body going to sleep and my mind gradually awakening. As with all dreams, my mind quickly experienced a variety of unusual scenarios, people, clothes and the breaking of many laws of physics that are not humanly possible. However, as I was a well-travelled Virgin Frequent Flyer of the Platinum class, I knew how to best utilise these virtual dream enhancements. To do this, I strategically “pre-positioned” my business problem in the front of my mind so it was instantaneously captured and was weaved through all of my random experiences of surprise.

No, I’m not telling you about my dream, as these visual insights into my personality are private, but you will be pleased to know that on arriving at my flight destination, I did indeed have an innovative solution to my business problem.

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Yes, the above is indeed fantasy, but is it? How often do we awake in the morning following a night of dreams in which we encountered ourselves performing an array of activities that we had no idea that we could achieve? And, it all seemed so real! Unfortunately, we tend to quickly forget the euphoria of these dream experiences and happily get back into our daily activity regime.

Next time you have a business problem to solve, why not invoke the use of the dream option? However, make sure you have a small notebook located next to your bed so you can quickly capture those numerous and uniquely distinctive creative ideas to assist you in your work activities later that day.

And should any Virgin Airlines management be reading, please let me know when your do actually introduce the “random experience of surprise” as I can’t wait to try it!

The Flamboyee

Mondrian dress

If you have ever watched a speedboat cutting through the still water in a large lake, it is a most impressive sight. Besides the monstrous noise catapulting flamboyantly into the surrounding air, in its trail there is a sharp and distinctive series of oscillating waves that permeate from the back of the boat and eventually make their way to the shore. As an observer, you have no option but to take notice and to acknowledge the visual spectacle that is quickly unfolding before your physical senses.

This occurrence got me thinking…..

Corporate innovation needs “The Flamboyant Employee” to act as a catalyst to inspire and to make others in the office think that little bit differently. As a suggestion, let’s call these people the “Flamboyee”.

As the “Flamboyee” wanders through the office, their profile captures the attention of their fellow workers. They may have a flirtatious smile, a wicked glint in their eye, wear a range of unique clothes, or possess some other individual and distinctive mannerisms and attributes. The key requirement is that people take notice of the “Flamboyee”, break their concentration and initiate a spark of innovation in their thinking, or in their subconscious. This “Flamboyee Effect” rippling throughout the office environment can be likened to the waves in the lake generated by the speedboat. Those employees in direct contact with the “Flamboyee” will tend to obtain the greatest innovation benefit.

It is important not to have too many “Flamboyees” meandering the corporate passageways; otherwise there could be a clashing of the innovation waves that may lead to a negative impact and eventual capsizing in creativity. However, a well-planned timetable of “Flamboyee” activity is essential to ensure that a sustained level of innovation buoyancy is maintained throughout the working day, particularly near 5 PM when many a worker’s motivation starts to quickly subside.

The role of the “Flamboyee” should be prized by management, and HR should have a specific position description prescribed with key performance innovation indicators to make sure that the “Flamboyee” is operating effectively and achieving their maximum creative potential.

Just a thought, but one definitely worthwhile exploring further!

The Power of a Small Drop

Water Drop

 

When a towel is placed under a tap where the water is flowing quite quickly, most of the water runs off the towel with minimal absorption. However, if the water velocity from the tap is reduced to a slow and steady drip, the towel now becomes very effective with the water collection as each drop has time to fully permeate into the fabric.

Let’s take this thought and consider its application to the implementation of a new idea or innovative, change application in business, or in our social activities.

If the mindset shift associated with the proposed change is too large, those individuals feeling the full force of the change action may not absorb it so it could be lost and have minimal or no impact. The key for success is to slowly drip feed the idea to allow the desired effect to slowly permeate into the organization (or individuals) to which it has been aimed.

However, in some circumstances where efforts to implement change continually encounter strong resistance, sometimes there is the need to use a water canon to blast the change through with maximum force! But this course of action tends to obliterate the “towel” and may not achieve the required result. There are also usually a lot of puddles to clean up afterwards which may require a larger number of fresh towels!

So for your next “change introduction” may I suggest you adopt the steady and slow drip and you will obtain a nice wet and saturated towel!

 

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